Bohegan Mumblings

Because the race isn't over till someone comes last.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Nunberry's Fables Part 1 : The Boy Who Cried Quiche

Boy Who Cried Quiche.
A fable by Nunberry

Once upon a time there was a little boy, not unlike your self. He liked climbing trees and catching frogs and drilling holes in the walls of toilet cubicles that were just big enough for him to align with his mobile phone's camera lense. One day, when he was out on the mountainside tending to his sheep and he was bored out of his tree (which, you remember, he used to enjoy climbing, but ever since he got that PS3 the shine has worn off), to help pass the time he began to yell -
"Quiche! There's a Quiche!"

The people of the village heard his cries and rushed to the mountainside carrying sticks and toothbrushes who's bristles they had melted together and sharpened on a brick. They searched and searched but there was no quiche to be found. An angry villager warned the boy -
"If you be crying quiche when there don't be no quiche, you be sorry one day!"
but the boy just laughed and replied -
"Fuck off you inbred old fart".

The villagers returned to the village, closing the doors to their mud huts behind them. Just as the last door closed, the boy sniggered to himself and yelled -
at the top of his lungs. Again the villagers came with cordless drills and the aerial off an 80's ford Cortina but there was no quiche to be found. Muttering, they trudged back to the village. The boy laughed heartily but soon found himself bored once more.
"QUICHE!!!!" he roared, "A fucking great Quiche!!!!" but no one came. "QUICHE!!!!" but there was not a peep from the village. With all his might he yelled again "QUICHE!!!!!".

Fate dealt him a cruel blow - a group of vegitarians were driving their bioethanol van over the mountain that day. They heard his cries, the thoughts of delicious quiche driving them into a frenzy. They crashed the van into the boy's herd of sheep and sprang, their claws slicing through his abdomen like malted milk biscuits through coffee. They feasted on his flesh long into the night. Also, a man named Keith who was hard of hearing turned up but he was too embarassed by his mistake to interfere.

Here endeth the lesson.

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